Heart Attack Grill

http://www.heartattackgrill.com

This was a must visit place for us. Heart Attack Grill is a landmark around Freemont and an attraction on its own. One can always spot the restaurant by the crowds outside.

APPEARANCE & NOSE

Tons of funny posters on the outside were preparing us for the experience as we approached. A scale to check yourself and see whether you qualify to eat for free (should be over 350 lb) was prominent in the setup with folks jumping on the platform, trying to gage how likely they are to pass. Surprising for us was that we did not have to wait, it was lunch time and we were able to get a spot right away. Well…not right away, every client (or should I say potential patient) needed to slip into gown to make sure there is no time wasted when the ambulance arrives to haul clients away. Patrons were not permitted to take off the awkward garment throughout their meal. We walked past the fake movie posters (gone with the Waistline anyone?) and settled by the window to enjoy the enthusiastic crowd outside.

SWIRL

We pondered upon ordering a full wine bottle in an IV bag on a pole, but settled with a butter milkshake instead. Single Bypass Burger and a ½ Pound Coronary Dog also sounded plentiful for us. Before ordering, we took our time to go through the elaborate menu with tinker-bell sized pinup girls all over, and quirky writing throughout. Note, their only vegetarian option is cigarettes - keeping it healthy!

As we looked around, there were plenty of cheaply created themed props suspended from the ceiling. To be honest, we though that was a bit too carney and overdone. This included a large oversized pill bottle and a stethoscope.

PALATE

The food was quick to come, so we jumped right in. The ½ Pound Coronary Dog came with added bacon, chili, onion and cheese. It was too salty for our tastebuds, with the bacon dark and over-fried. Frankly, we did not enjoy the dish much, not to mention is was very messy to eat. Our Single Bypass Burger on the other hand was more pleasant. It had chili, onion, tomatoes, and cheese with meat full of cartilages and fat. Turned out to be predictably heavy and not over the top enjoyable. We expected a bit more for the amount of calories consumed, maybe a better patty and higher quality cheese could have made a difference here? But then again, this restaurant doesn’t pride itself in quality but in quantity of calories consumed. The Vanilla Milkshake came with a piece of butter on top, which we thought was a joke, but no… In reality it was very buttery, felt like half a pound was used to make the thick drink. It actually tasted quite good, but we could not finish even one between the both of us. The fries were nothing spectacular, could be interesting to try it with deep fried in pure lard for $2 extra maybe.

FINISH

Heart Attack Burger is not without controversy and prides to hold the Guinness Book World Record for highest calorie burger (~10k calories). Waitresses dressed in tight nurse costumes and an occasional doctor were setting up the mood further aided by the corny custom music videos playing on a loop.

It was a fun place to visit, but do not expect the meal of a lifetime. It is an experience more than a meal. Also, make sure to leave your meal unfinished for a chance to get spanked too! Ma cherie had to take advantage of the opportunity to be spanked in the middle of the restaurant with a wooden paddle. Don’t underestimate those waitresses, they probably taking baseball seasons - we saw a great swing. Might have burned a few calories by the burn on our butts plus, there was the public embarrassment part…

In an odd way, Heart Attack Grill epitomized the essence of Vegas for us - glitz and glamour with a touch of shallowness and no shame. We would recommend everyone to visit this place at least once.

PS: one more scale was indoor and much better calibrated – do not think you just gained 20-30 pounds by walking in.

PPS: ma cherie felt quite feverish after, with her heart beating faster. Might have been a good idea to keep those patient robes, after all!

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